Dyslexics of the world, untie!

What’s the deal with shoelaces these days? I remember learning to tie mine as a kid… the thrill of accomplishment, the rush of achievement as the bunny ran ’round the tree and dove into its hole. It was pure, simple magic.

For some reason, I’ve noticed in the last handful of years, however, something sinister has been going on behind the closed doors of the major shoelace manufacturers. Maybe they’re coating them with teflon. Maybe they’re just weaving them tighter. Perhaps they’ve switched to an all petroleum-based twine to spin these little podal stays. Whatever the case, the damnable strings won’t stay tied anymore!

I’ve damn near bit chunks of asphalt lately when an errand strand will flop loose from one of my clodhoppers and flail about the opposing foot. So I tie them. Again. I cinch ’em up real good, too, pulling at the ends with a Herculean tug until the knot nears a singularity that threatens to swallow the known universe. In about five minutes, I hear the tell-tale slap of cord on concrete again.

So I double-knot, double-bow, triple axial and give ’em a spot of super glue for good measure. Oh, for a simpler time, when laces knew their places, and no paces did disgrace.

Now, where’s that welding torch?

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8 responses to “Dyslexics of the world, untie!

  1. Hi Bill,

    Glad to see that you’ve got a blog going – it appears that I have contributed to the popularity of it for flight sim developers. 🙂

    Best,

    Owen

  2. Bill,
    the Dutch of course have found the perfect solution many centuries ago….. check out here:
    http://www.woodenshoes.com

    😉

    Francois

  3. ok Who is right is Fs9 Right or
    are you. I baught Realair Decathlon 2006 and it is great
    cept where is Bear Gulch Airport.
    I can’t Find NORTHWEST USA
    AFD.

    FS9 Says it is West acording to its map. and I have also read this as well, some say it is east.
    Can you help?? Plsee

  4. Ok I found it but would like to know the name of the town so I can
    find it in the Northwest U.S. AFD

  5. Excellent, Ian! Believe it or not (get it?), I’m pleased to see this link. I’ll have to practice the alternate knots illustrated and find one that fits my lifestyle. 😉

    -Bill

  6. Bear Gulch Airport is in Bear Gulch, South Dakota.

  7. Pretty funny. I guess it goes to show, any name you can think of is probably already taken by somebody. There is actually a Bear Gulch in the vicinity of the airfield I created, and probably sixteen other places around the world too. At least. 😉

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